Living not striving…

More from that Tim Kimmel guy on “safe” kids.  He is starting to get under my skin

Yes, I’m suggesting that Christian families would fare far better raising their children in environments where they have to take spiritual risks, but I’m not suggesting that parents raise their children recklessly. A reckless Christian family is one where children are raised in the world but are not shown how to appropriate God’s power to live distinctively from the world’s way of thinking. Too many parents assume that it is impossible to effectively raise kids in the midst of a corrupt world system. Obviously, they haven’t given church history even a cursory look. If they had, they’d realize that we didn’t get where we are today by functioning safely behind the lines of the spiritual battle.

Seeing the word risk and assuming it is “reckless” is a convenient cop-out for people living in a safe, fear-based Christian circles. That’s because they know full well that to effectively raise kids on the front lines of the world system would require a much more spiritually savvy parent. You can’t dump your children on the front porch of the religious professionals or educators and think you’ve done your duty. You can’t prop them up with evangelical clubs or youth programs that have them doing a lot of biblical calisthenics and think they are somehow prepared. You might actually have to lead them across the battlefield yourself. It is not an easier form of parenting-just better. In the long run, this way produces spiritually strong and sound children.

Raising children in evangelical hideaways and creating a spiritual Disneyland works directly against the development of an empowered relationship with Christ. If anything, safe Christianity isn’t about a relationship with Jesus Christ; it’s about a relationship with a Western, middle-class caricature of Jesus Christ. It’s an option that the majority of Christian parents around the world (especially the Third World) wouldn’t consider for their children because it isn’t even a remote possibility. Raising safe Christian kids is as much a product of middle to upper-class wealth as it is anything else. Putting it bluntly, the reason parents choose to raise their children in highly protected spiritual enclaves is because they can afford to. History has shown, however, that God the Holy Spirit has always provided better protection for children than their parents’ checkbooks ever could.

These protected environments don’t allow a system of spiritual antibodies to develop within the character of the child. This produces a generation of people who must stay within a spiritually sterilized environment in order to thrive. These are nice systems that produce nice kids who marry nice kids who go to nice churches and hang out with like-minded nice friends. Meanwhile, the lost people in the world around them continue in their doomed condition. In these environments, there is little spiritual adventure. God is nice, Jesus becomes a plush toy that we cuddle, and we become irrelevant.

Okay, more from Grace-Based Parenting. The following are some excerpts from a chapter on “A Strong Hope.”  Developing a strong hope within our children.  The author Tim Kimmel makes the point that Children develop a strong hope when their parents lead them and encourage them to live a great spiritual adventure.

Let me preface these excerpts by saying that many of the examples he uses (that I do not include) pertain to older children and when he discusses “safety” he is not talking about health and safety issues particularly regarding young children.  This section offended me initially but as I read and reread it, now I am challenged and fired up!  I would love to hear what some of you think and I hope this pushes you to pick this book up and read it through for yourself.

You may not want to hear this, but raising safe Christian kids is a spiritual disaster in the making. Your effort will produce shallow faith and wimpy believers. Kids raised in an environment that stresses safety are on track to be evangelical pushovers. They will tend to end up either overly critical of the world system to the point where they won’t want anything to do with the people of the world system - an idea that comes directly from Satan’s playbook. Or, they will become naive about the world system, which ultimately makes them putty in Satan’s hands. He chews up these kinds of people like they are spiritual McNuggets and swallows them whole. When they’re finally confronted with the full thrust of the world system as young adults, few know how to turn it into an opportunity for spiritual impact.

Safe Christianity is an oxymoron, like “jumbo shrimp.” Living your life sold out for Jesus Christ has never been a way to enjoy a safe life. It may be a way to enjoy a good life, but not a safe one. That’s because Jesus isn’t safe, but He is always good. On the inside of His goodness (read “grace”), He offers a safe haven for a dangerous life to be lived out. That’s what a grace-based home can offer, too - a safe set of parents and siblings around whom a child can make life-changing decisions such as who’s going to be the master of his life.

These types of homes have families who rest in the confidence that God loves our children. The best time to begin building this kind of confidence in our children is when God gives them to us as babies. They need to spend the early years of their lives watching their parents live on the front lines of culture. But as your children get older , you need to allow them to experience spiritual dilemmas that enable them to trust in Christ and strengthen their hope in His goodness.

There are risks. We must put our confidence in a God who would not bring anything unpleasant into our children’s lives except for those things that He deliberately desires to use to mold them into His image. This overriding certainty should guide us as we make decisions on how to grow our children’s hope into a strong hope.

Great post by Tony Morgan today.  I need to make myself read this every 5 years at least to keep myself in check.  I have thought what he writes many times over the past two years but never could I verbalize it and put it down as well as he does here.

Yes, some may be offended and it could be controversial but it is undeniably true.  I would love to know what some of you think?

My good friend, Vanessa, is a former teacher and introduced me to a neat, fun website the other day.  Starfall at www.starfall.com .

Great for learning letters, learning to read, etc.  You can print out worksheets, handwriting sheets and other fun stuff.  My kids loved it and it is a great alternative to watching cartoons….again.  Thanks Vanessa!

What a glorious day!  We spent most of the day at Ebenezer Park, playing outside in this beautiful weather.  Can you believe in AUGUST we could spend the day at the park?  It was so great letting the kids play with so many of their friends and get absolutely covered in sand.

Yesterday I apparently temporarily lost my mind and talked two good friends into driving to Lumberton to the Exploration Station Children’s Museum there.  We played for almost 5 hours and had a great time, but somehow I failed to look at the weather.  Well that isn’t true.  I noticed it was raining and thus I could not send the wrestling tornado that was destroying my house outside to the trampoline so I decided since FunDayGo wasn’t open then we would go to the museum.

What I didn’t check was the intensity of the rain or how long it was supposed to last.  Apparently I would have found “monsoonlike” and “unending”.  We stayed so long in Lumberton because the 10 children were playing so well but also because we kept hoping it would stop raining for the drive home.  Not so much.  It stopped as we pulled into Florence:)  It really was a fun day.

The true highlight of my day though was a little webcast surprise.  My parents and a couple of my brothers (I have 7) live in Atlanta and attend Buckhead Church, a Northpoint campus.  Tonight they were having a Night of Worship and one of the blogger gurus I follow here was going to be leading some of the worship.  All week I have been secretly jealous and bummed b/c I so wanted to be there.  Well I was checking my bloglines (great way to streamline the blogs you follow by the way) and saw that the whole worship experience was going to be live by webcast.  Oh Happy Day!!!

I tuned in half an hour late but was able to experience an amazing half hour of worship.  Eli and I danced and praised together:)  I was supposed to go to Bunko and would have loved it but had to miss for this great treat.  Isn’t God good?  I even texted my mom midway thru to let her know we were worshiping together.  How cool is that?

That is a little bit of what the internet can do to connect people with Christ and one another.  What a great day!

My great friend, who is also a literature lover, passed The Shack on to me this past weekend.  I couldn’t put it down.  I read it in two days.

Amazing story about forgiveness and mercy.  It challenges how I view the Trinity,what a personal relationship with the Lord looks like and tough questions most people wrestle with deep inside.  Certainly it is fiction and none of my personal theology has been altered by it… but it has helped me make sense and sort through some things.

I highly, highly recommend it.  It is a great read for people that consider themselves Christ followers or for skeptics.  Beautifully written and painfully candid.  And yes, I think a fairly quick read as well.  I foresee giving it to quite a few loved ones as a gift.  It is just that good.  Check it out!

Today was my birthday

It has been an amazing day!  I was served donuts and coffee in bed and a wonderful lunch with my boys.  Then I had three hours on the beach by myself!!!  So many wonderful friends and family called, texted and emailed me to say happy birthday.  That along with the way my precious husband just was so sweet and thoughtful today, I feel extravagantly loved:)

It is amazing the things you can process when you have space and quiet to think:)  I had an interesting adventure though during my blissful time in the sun.  A sweet little 5 year old boy named Isaiah came up to me and said, “Do you know where my mommy is?”

Oh my goodness!!!! I took his little hand and we went and found a lifeguard.  Poor little guy was very lost and scared and confused.  He had a hard time answering our questions.  Especially as a crowd gathered when people figured out he was lost.

I normally would have had buckets and snacks but since my boys weren’t with me I was no good at providing distractions.  I tried to chat with him and assure him he would be back with his mommy soon, while the lifeguard talked on her walkie-talkie trying to figure out if his mom was looking for him.  I did talk him into sitting down with me in the sand.  Well the sweet little thing fell asleep sitting up.  Someone brought a towel to lay him down on and someone else brought him a water.  After about half an hour another lifeguard identified his momma at another hotel 1 mile down the beach in the opposite direction from where he came.

I have no idea how long little Isaiah wandered down the beach.  After 45 minutes I handed him over to the beach police to take him down to his mommy.  He was so sweet and so scared.  People stopped me as I walked back to my chair asking if they found his mom.  They said they had seen him wandering up and down the beach.  How cool and honored I feel that for whatever reason he felt comfortable enough to come up to me and stop and ask me for help.

As I drove home thinking over the experience I reasoned how this is truly what I hope my life will be.  Helping people find their parent, their Heavenly Father.  I want to help people that have lost their way find their way home.  I so hope that I live life in a way that anyone will feel comfortable asking me the way home.  And shame on me if someone ever feels like they can’t ask me.

I am nothing special but I hope in my life and also in my involvement with Newspring Florence….. we help many, many, many people find their way home:)

Exciting stuff going on this weekend!  I have been quiet and absent and busy!  We have fun stuff to look forward to over the next few days.

Tomorrow we are going to the beach to spend the night.  Hopefully should be fun:)  Saturday we have a cub scout outing to Wild, Water and Wheels.  All day water fun!

Then the absolute icing on the cake is a group road trip to Newspring Anderson and Greenville campuses.  We are taking a bus trip from Florence Swamp Fox Theater early Sunday morning and trekking it, with kids and all up to Anderson campus of Newspring Church.  We will attend the 11:15am service and then travel down to the Greenville campus for a catered lunch and some behind the scenes experience of how a video campus will work.

Then around 2:30pm we will head back to Florence.  We are all looking so forward to it.  I know of at least four families with children going.  So the couples and singles will get a dose of family fun.  The bus has a dvd player and a potty, so we should be good:)  It is so cool that we are actually seeing other people, some  excited and some just interested, getting on the bus to see what Newspring is all about:)  God is so good!!!

Oh by the way…. if you want to get on the bus with us, let me know or email Michael Brown and let him know by 5:00pm tomorrow.  I promise, it will be worth your while!  Road Trip!

Obviously I have been very absent for about a week.  Sunday night I went to bed with a migraine, but was hoping I could properly medicate, sleep long and outrun it.  Not so much.  It did come and go in spells but Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday night were particularly awful.  Mark was so patient.  Two nights I went to bed at 6pm.

So I have had more sleep this week than I think I have had since college.  The funny thing is I still don’t really feel rested.  What is up with that?  Am I so sleep deprived that it takes MORE than five days of good sleep to refill me?  Yes it is after midnight and I am still up.  My internal clock is now a little wacked but it is also b/c #1 I am a little addicted to this form of communication via the internet and #2 b/c I still have some vicious tension in my right shoulder that I can’t seem to shake.  But praise the Lamb my migraine is gone.

Tried to lay low today and avoid stress and sunshine to get me on the right track.  Actually made it to the grocery store and the library without too much stress.  We were so glad to see our Nonny (Anna Pitts) at the library.  She always makes our visits productive and super fun.  And we always leave the library with almost 30 books.  Not kidding:)

Due to my headache I missed the Newspring meeting on Thursday night.  I was soooo bummed, but all said it went great!!  I hate that I missed out on meeting the rest of the staff, but hopefully within the month they will all be permanent fixtures in this lovely city.  And as Mark said, “Watch out David, she will be your shadow.”.  David is the children’s minister and I can’t wait to get started loving on the children in Florence.  Newspring has such an amazing children’s ministry and I can’t wait to wow kids and their parents to Christ.  Church like they have never experienced!!  Mark said about 80% of the folks at the meeting he had never met or heard of before.  That gets me super excited.  Well actually I already was, but even more so now:)

Lastly, sometimes I annoy myself at how often I check the computer.  But really through email and facebook and blogs I am able to communicate with my family and friends all over the world, that I never would be able to maintain relationship with any other way.  I connected with three great friends from high school and college tonight.  People really special to me that I had completely lost touch with.  But the conversations we shared tonight through the internet have made my life richer!  Not to mention that with the size of my family I could never keep up with everyone, any other way.  Thank the Lord for this tool!

I do have some somewhat deep thoughts swimming around in my brain but I haven’t had enough down time to actually process them enough to have them make sense yet.  So eventually I may have something of more worth for you, but for now, mostly my random thoughts and recent events:)

I did mention earlier that I love the 4th of July.  I grew up (most of my young years) on Hilton Head Island and with it being obviously a tourist destination, the 4th of July was a big stinking deal.  Great big cookout, lots of friends and family, tons of time in the sand and water.   And the ending… beautiful fireworks, actually three or four to look at depending on where you were positioned  on the Island, over the water.  So much fun, fun, fun:)  Makes me smile to think about it.  And usually there was a golf cart parade thrown in there somewhere too.

Once we moved to Florence I selfishly wanted to continue my tradition of being near the ocean for the 4th of July.  Most of the time I win, but I am glad to say that I really am finally maturing a little bit and realize I can enjoy the holiday if I am not near the ocean.  Not as much really though…. that’s just me being honest.

We did do sparklers this year.  My dad has always told us horrible stories of people getting their hands blown off setting off fireworks so they have always terrified me.  But I did agree to a handful of sparklers.  They were pretty although stressful.  They are hot and the mixture of three little impulse driven boys carrying around fire… that is not a smart combo.  We made it without any burns though.  (You can breathe now Mom!)

We did have a great 4th.  Saw friends and were lazy.  Tried last night (Mark went to his dads so it was me and the boys) to see fireworks out at the Red Wolves.  We parked outside the game at 9:30pm.  At 11pm, after being asked 12 million times (approximately) when the fireworks were going to start, repeatedly telling the boys to roll the window up so mosquitoes and strangers did not wander into the car and being climbed over a trillion times, we called it a night.  So we officially did not see fireworks. That does make me sad.  So that means either we need to go to the beach and see some firworks this summer or we need to go back to Disneyworld this year so I can see them every night:)

I know this is a runon blog that my husband won’t read b/c it has more than 45 words, but I have to finish by telling you the boys and I went to The River Church again in Camden.  So great.  They made an awesome craft with the boys.  Then we went to the zoo to see the lion cubs.  It really was a fun day.  Long and extremely hot.  The zoo in July?  What was I thinking?  Obviously I did this spur of the moment and did not consult with any of you, b/c I am sure you are thinking, “I would have talked you out of that.”  No it really was a blessing and a fun day.  But I do have to say I get irritable when I get hot.  for some reason I thought it was supposed to be cooler today.  Anyways my feet do hurt but hopefully we made another good memory.  And now I only have  8 more days until Haig can go swimming again.

Oh I almost forgot.  Sat. I took McCall and Eli to the pool while Haig stayed with Mark.  We got there basically got in the water and someone threw up in the pool and we all had to get out.  Humorous:)